Chronicle 88 - Lucidity please

I took two days off before the competition to distance myself away from the stress of work so I can stay mentally fresh for my competition. Alas, things were not to be as I was still contacted for work. That kinda sucked. Of course, that is no excuse for my loss in the competition. That match though, was really quite a shame, as I really had a chance to win. That arm was right there for the taking. I hesitated for but a split second and the chance was gone. To end another match losing on points
makes me feel very dissatisfied. At least I didn't end up half-dead or puking after this competition unlike earlier ones. Still... I need another one while my body can still work.

The big bosses from London has come and gone, and particularly for the analysts, what they said made all of us uneasy as they were talking about a potential restructuring which might affect our career paths. While talking to my colleagues about it internally, I have seen every one of them cry. It isn't exactly good news, but then again, girls do cry too easily. What am I supposed to do? Don't think I can cry along... At that point, there were plenty of tension as we await more clarity. For now, it seems that the management is deciding to go down the less painful path. While there is short-term relief, it remains to be seen whether the long-term commitments can be honoured.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, we were working on a pitch for a Chinese company. It came as a surprise when they asked for a deck in Chinese. My Mandarin is rusty enough as it is and business Chinese is on a whole different level. After much struggling, we finally got it out, but on the pitch day itself, we realised that we brought the wrong deck and everyone was panicking and blaming one another. It was a miracle that we pulled through somehow. I called my colleagues in the office and had them email the file over and realised that some slides were still wrong. What happened next is legendary. JZ and LAB stalled for time by complaining that the AV cable didn't work, and what's interesting though, was that it really doesn't work! So they decided to switch rooms for the presentation. In the meantime, I was scrambling to put the slides together. At the new room, while they were booting up the projector, I shut off their projection screen from my laptop. Thankfully, no one was an IT expert there and no one could figure out how to turn it back on. I quickly PDFed my slides than switched the screen back on, pretending to be just as surprised as everyone was when it came back on!

With all that stress at work, I'm looking forward to the upcoming Bintan trip next week. The haze does seem to have mostly dispersed over the past few weeks. While a free stay at Bintan is good, I think I really need to find other uses for the credit that MINDEF keeps giving me every time I go on reservist for good performance.

Of late, my colleagues told me that they wonder if I am gay. WHAT?! Aside from the fact that I don't have a spectacular dating history (or any history for that matter), I believe I gave no cause to doubt my masculinity. Those girls... zzz...

[Quotes]

"Your mind is working at its best when you're being paranoid. You explore every avenue and possibility of your situation at high speed with total clarity." - Banksy

"It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal." - Steve Maraboli 

"My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments, what fiddlestrings and harps, drums and tamboura I sound and clash inside myself. All I hear is the symphony." - Fernando Pessoa

"There are no norms. All people are exceptions to a rule that doesn’t exist." - Fernando Pessoa