Chronicle 67 - Perplexity

This Chinese New Year seems pretty dead. In fact, it always had been since my grandmother passed away. My parents' generation had quite a large membership, and perhaps made maintaining the relationships that much harder. I've always wondered what it would be like with my generation, although I don't foresee anything better either. I'm sure I have a few nieces and nephews somewhere, but I've never really seen nor familiarized myself with them. Perhaps that was why I felt somewhat guilty that I had to leave halfway during the visit to a relative's house to meet my university mates.

My probational review was supposed to be this week. But because everyone was so bogged down by work, it was rescheduled to somewhere in the future. This review was supposed to decide if I'll be confirmed as a staff. Part of me actually wants to fail the review, but that should just be the whiny part of me thinking out loud. I'm sure I can tahan a year - barely. Anyway, the big boss from London came over sometime back for a little visit. He insisted to meeting everyone one-on-one for a little chat. He seemed pretty jovial and friendly for the most part. He shared many of his big ideas and commented on our current practices. The thing about a third-party opinion is that sometimes you think it was formed without the context you're familiar with, but yet somehow the argument can still make sense. Something like wanting to reject and accept it at the same time. That said, it seems highly likely that I will be staying at this job for now, although I have more or less established that I do not like what I'm doing. I deserved this? Deja vu.

Talking about work, it is taking off. And I meant the workload, not the proficiency in my handling of them. I never had to work past midnight at the office before. The first month of 2014 gave me that very first experience. For all the theories about "information overload", I've never really appreciated them until now. The art of taking notes is something that is a serious prerequisite for this job. Oh right, I once mentioned that a female colleague seemed to always give me the humble pie by picking fault on my work every so often. But recently - although it's still rare - she actually became somewhat nice? There was once she acted cute by pouting at me in response to some comments I made. I almost died of awkwardness. Of course, there are times when she's just ... ...her. This "on-and-off" attitude is seriously freaking out. I need some consistency in my life. And before I forget, our client now has a partnership with Wall Street Journal Asia where our client will provide content in the form of a bulletin. I drafted the very first issue (both English and the Mandarin translation) and it was accepted! I'll be waiting for it to be published. Since this will be a monthly bulletin spanning 12 months, I'll need to brainstorm for 11 other topics soon. That stress sure kills off any pride that I may have for writing those published articles.

And outside work, I was told to submit a proposal on places of interest in Japan. Never thought I had to do any other form of research and presentation of data outside work. Somehow, I can't seem to not do it. On a related note, I actually found myself patting the dog one fine day. Anyway, speaking about Japan, the tickets have been booked! That should give me something more concrete to look forward to.

I'll be going off to reservist soon in a few days. For some reason, I am much more willing to be in camp than at work. Looks like I really have to reevaluate what I want.

[Quotes]
"Sentimentality may not be found in words." - Self

 "Cogito ergo sum." - René Descartes

“What is now proved was once only imagined.”- William Blake