Chronicle 66 - 2013

When I first read the news, the immediate reaction was to dismiss it as a coincidence. I mean same name, same university, and same age? It was still possible, I guess. But, there was this nagging feeling that still prompted me to check. I tried calling his mobile but could not get through. I can't explain how I felt at that time, other than telling myself that "it can't be". Through the contacts of F, I was able to get in contact with the NUS hall chairman of my friend. When he confirmed the news, my heart sank. Two weeks prior to his death, we were still having dinner together with a bunch of army friends. I still remembered him saying he was interested in some girl but didn't know how to proceed. He initiated the dinner meeting and proposed we meet again after 1/2 a year. I jokingly said that in that time, the singles would be attached, and those currently attached would be single. After I confirmed the funeral details, I sent it to all the others. A few of us went to his wake yesterday.I could not recognize him at 1st glance as his face was bloated due to the time he was in the water. I wondered how his parents felt when they had to identify his body. We sat at the table and talked about times past. His mother came over to our table and spoke to us. When we told her we took a photo together 2 weeks ago during our dinner, she seemed a bit comforted and requested for that photo. His mother told us about some of his habits and we tried explaining some to her. His mother was talking about his interest in learning the Korean language, and thought it was due to the influence of K-pop. However, I knew the main reason was because he thought that the North Korean regime would end during his time, and when that time came, he wanted to do his part to help them. Everyone could tell his mother was ready to cry at any point. I felt really sorry that they had to end off 2013 and start 2014 with a death in the family.

"Life is short" - (I have no idea what I mean or what should be done even if I say this).

Regarding the coverage of his death, when I saw the news of his death complete with his photo in The Straits Times front page, I was actually annoyed that it was so. I understand that it was news considering the Malaysian news were also covering it. But a blown up picture of him on the front page? That is not the obituaries column please. I did not go looking for them but I saw some forum comments on this incident. And I swear, some of those comments are really out to make people angry.

My university friends came over to my house for steamboat last week. My family was still present then and it was quite awkward at times when my mother insisted on helping with the preparation of the food. At least, she managed to keep certain things to herself as promised. And of course, as with the previous steamboat, we couldn't finish the food. I ate steamboat with C and F 2 days back as well.

We just concluded out gift-exchange exercise some time back. Glad I got a gift I could use this year. As for my gift to D, my mother advised me not to give a present of such value as it might send the "wrong message". I dismissed that concern almost immediately. That is not to say that I do not see D as a girl. My sisters are girls, some of my cousins are girls, some of my bosses are girls, and some of my students are girls. Come on, it's not like I should pursue every single girl I see sexually. That's too much work! No really, what I mean is girls in general are accorded a certain form of respect in terms of my behaviour, as opposed to guys. I remember after D and I concluded our bouldering exercise, I offered washing up at my place. For some reason, I added the statement, "my parents are not at home". The fact that I felt awkward after that should prove I treat her as a girl. Period.

My whole family is overseas to Tokyo at this point. Some alone time, as well as the car is welcome. But like always, there is a trade off - the dog. This is annoying as I have to wake up earlier to clean his mess and feed him, and I can't be home too late either for his dinner.

Work wise, it's getting pretty hectic. With so many people taking leave, the cover duties on top of my own is no joke! There's just so many things to be done. Sucks that probationary periods mean no entitlement to leaves. Hopefully, I'll be able to get leaves where it counts.

[Quotes]
"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen

"I am a rare species, not a stereotype." - Ivan E. Coyote

"Objectivity is the subject subjugating the object. That is how you assert yourself. You make yourself the active voice and the object is the passive no-voice." - Emily Levine