My entire family went to Taiwan at the start of the month. This seems to be the routine every time I am left alone at home - having to feed and clean up after the dog but getting the use of the car in exchange. I hate to admit it but it does feel different when I reach home from work (albeit very very late) and know that no one is at home. I don't get to talk or interact much with any of my family members since I reach home pretty late, but at least I knew they were there. I wonder if this is the feeling people usually associate with "homesick" - in a reverse manner.
And now for the main event; I went for my third martial arts competition earlier in June. And as the scoreboard on the right will show, I lost - again. No excuses at all. My opponent was simply more skillful. If anything, I felt like I was the one trying to bulldoze through the match with my strength only to be thwarted by skill at every turn. I started really well though - so well that I couldn't believe it and didn't know what to do after I had the advantage. My opponent punished my split second of indecisiveness and dominated the remainder of the match. I was so exhausted after the match that I slumped on a table trying to hold back from puking. I swear, if a little kid were to so much as poke me, I would have released everything. Only C turned up to support my match. That F! How unsupportive...
Anyway, there is going to be one more competition in Singapore before the end of the year. Will I join? That's a no-brainer.
After the match, I reached home only to realize that the hosepipe in my balcony had torn due to wear and tear and the resulting leak had built up a nice little pool at the balcony. Struggling against the stream of water, I wadded through to cut off the main tap. I was already very drained after the match. Having to drain the water from the balcony as well as clean up the dog's mess only made things worse. I collapsed and sunk into a deep long sleep when it was all over. The next day, my whole body was experiencing aches but I could still manage relatively well. I drove C and F around to dinner and had Dim Sum at Swee Choon as supper.
But on the third day, when I had to go to work, I almost couldn't get out of bed. My neck was stiff and frozen in place. I could not turn or rotate my neck in any manner. Miraculously, I managed to wash up and get dressed for work - a miracle. I pasted a huge Tiger Balm patch over my neck and went to work. Of course, people taking the public transport decided to stare. At the office, during the routine Monday morning meeting, everyone laughed at poked fun at my restricted movements. SO was pretty kind and offered to get me another patch from the pharmacy when she saw me trying to stretch my neck, which I didn't managed to; almost died from the pain trying it. Ironically, the pain itself acted as a brace which made my posture super upright. The entire day was helluva inconvenient. Whenever someone called my name, I had to turn my entire body to face them. The robotic motion always made them laugh.
I then told myself that I seriously need to improve on my fitness level or at least claw back some of the fitness I had previously. I have tried setting alarms early in the morning to go for runs, which, none have materialized. I need some kind of external motivation (like last time) to get me going.
We were doing media engagement for a client in Hong Kong recently and my 3 bosses were in Hong Kong, UK and on medical leave. When I had to blast out the press release to the Hong Kong media, I found myself looking at the stuff again and again and all the while thinking to myself: "Somebody, anybody, please just check this before I send!" As it was not going to happen, I convinced myself that
"三分天注定，and hit that send button. Thankfully, everything worked out well.
七分靠打拼。
我七分之责已尽。
其余三分，
任天由命。 "
As for the intern I mentioned in the previous post, we've broken the news to him that he's NOT going to be offered a position after his internship ends this week. He did seem disappointed - understandably so as he did work pretty hard - but I suppose if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. SO simply said that he wasn't suitable for the job. My opinion was that he came at the wrong time as he is someone who needs slightly more guidance, which unfortunately, neither me nor SO have any capacity to provide at this busy juncture. I must admit I had more guidance when I first joined. JZ said that in any and all positions, we as employees are expected to adapt to the requirements of the job. It doesn't matter whether it's the right time or the wrong time. If you can't adapt at any point, you're not suitable for the job. Simple as that.
Is that professionalism? Speaking about that, I remembered this one incident. A client pissed her off quite badly, but when she was on the phone with the client, her tone showed no indication of any displeasure. But I was laughing to myself as she was waving her middle finger around (no joke) and when she slammed the phone down, she threw back her head and said: "F***". Professionalism?
Anyway, we have since hired a new analyst who seems rather promising from her first few days. This office sure is democratic as it was a consensus to hire her (and also not to offer the intern an official position). When asked for my opinion, I simply described her as: "someone who possess quiet determination".
The big boss sat down with SO and me recently and had a chat with us. She told us she was appreciative of how hard we're working with the limited manpower. She then told us that our counterparts from the London office will be coming over to Singapore for about a month towards the end of the year to visit and get to know more about operations. Both SO and I were pleasantly surprised when she told us it was a two-way initiative between the Singapore and London offices, meaning we get to fly to London as well. SO will go sometime in October, while I am scheduled for January next year. Assuming I can survive till then, it sure is exciting.
This is also an opportunity for us Analysts, both London and Singapore, to really get to know each other and our respective roles, considering the fact that relations between us have been rather strained lately. I do have a theory on why that is the case. In Chronicle 70, I mentioned the new colleague SC from London. She is a level above us Analysts and I guess being here in Singapore, she started to identify with us and take our side whenever there is a conflict of interest. In the past, while such conflicts of interest do exist, it was always settled among the Analysts. So the Analysts in London may feel as if we are trying to hitch on SC's authority to bully them, and hence the displeasure. They also have someone higher now to be their spokesperson. I'm pretty sure relations will get more strained before they get better.
SO just cut her hair short yesterday and when I first saw it, I must admit I had the "wow" reaction - suppressed of course. She's surprisingly attractive after sporting that new haircut. Ok, back to work.
I had to do a feature article for a client sometime back and I remember I interviewed this lady. I haven't written an interview feature article since Diploma so it was quite a refresher. The fact that the lady was quite pretty is also a bonus. The interview was a very rushed one and I did not prepare any questions beforehand. It was a unstructured interview to the max. I wonder how I came up with all those questions as we went along.
Generally, I do not like to give any sort of definitive or conclusive advice, but I found myself doing just that last week. Now that I think back, I kinda regret it. Who am I to judge? Who am I to predict?
My sister is now off to Korea for a student exchange programme. I do worry since she's the most spoilt out of us siblings and it's the first time she's been away alone without family. Maybe this will be a good chance for her to learn some independence. No wait... What? I actually admitted I worry?
The "not in order" disorder I mentioned in the previous post still seems to plague me. I can't seem to stop making mistakes and errors in my work recently. I can't seem to pinpoint the cause though. I've lost count of how many times I've face-palmed myself whenever I notice my mistakes - or worse, when someone else points it out. I know I've said this before, but the associated feeling is very punishing.
I received an email from my work email account asking for a quote for our services. I politely declined the brief as the request and client (a Ministry) did not exactly align with our focus for the moment. A follow-up email that went like this came in after:
"Hi AdwinI remembered that I struggled to remember who this person was and even asked SO for advice on how to reply without the "I have no idea who you are" coming through. Thankfully, I managed to remember by the end of the day. Small world indeed.
Noted and many thanks for your reply.
Came across your profile on the Tulchan website and found that you look familiar. Not sure if you remember me but I think you used to sit in Piya's classes? Media & Globalisation? With D, Z and C?"
Cheers
xxxxxxx"
My reply then was:
"Hi xxxxxxx,
Thank you for refreshing my memory. Now that you mention it, I do remember you. It's a small world indeed!
If memory serves, we should have been in more than one module together - Issues & Crisis Management, Screen Texts and ... (more?)
Piya also does have the habit of going round the class and calling out students to answer her questions, which helps in retaining the names of classmates into memory.
A pity we were not able to collaborate on the project mentioned below.
Best,
Adwin"
[Quotes]
“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing.”- Jim Rohn
"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people." - Carl Jung
“Instinct is a marvelous thing. It can neither be explained nor ignored.”- Agatha Christie
“I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars
and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to
me.” - Hermann Hesse
“Love is written in our instincts, yet erased by our actions.”- Gayle D. Erwin
“Every instinct that is found in any man is in all men. The strength of the emotion may not be so overpowering, the barriers against possession not so insurmountable, the urge to accomplish the desire less keen. With some, inhibitions and urges may be neutralized by other tendencies. But with every being the primal emotions are there. All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike some one they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.” - Clarence Darrow
"A desire is not an instinct. A desire to live does not give you the knowledge required for living. And even man's desire to live is not automatic: your secret evil today is that that is the desire you do not hold. Your fear of death is not a love of life and will not give you the knowledge needed to keep it. Man must obtain his knowledge and choose his actions by a process of thinking, which nature will not force him to perform. Man has the power to act as his own destroyer--and that is the way he has acted through most of history." - Ayn Rand
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