I finished doing my sit-ups and as I stood up, I suddenly felt weak. I hobbled to
the wall and slowly slid down to a sitting position. Half conscious, I could
see some people coming towards me and asking if I was ok and asking for my
name. I wanted to answer but realised my body had mostly stopped functioning. I
felt someone trying to uncurl my fist and asking me not to close my eyes. I
failed and passed out. I could still faintly sense that I was given an oxygen
mask, carried onto a stretcher, and stretchered onto a bed. Due to the swaying of
the stretcher and lack of blood, I puked. I was then hooked up to IV. That was
basically what happened to me when I took my IPPT early last month. It took
close to an hour before I could walk again and even then, I felt terrible. Needless
to say, IT HURTS MY PRIDE!
I
booked another IPPT session 4 days after and managed to get a silver (barely). But
seriously, what happened there? I actually fainted after some push-ups and
sit-ups? I didn’t even run. Oh my god. IT REALLY HURTS MY PRIDE!
Anyway,
I went to Chenjiagou, a little village in Wenxian, Henan, China to kick-start
my martial arts world tour. The martial art that I was learning is Chen-style
Tai Chi. I guess I was surprised that the school has started to incorporate
modern training techniques such as sparring and tyre flipping, as well as
grappling techniques into their syllabus. This is contrary to what many traditional
martial artists preach and shows that they are keeping up with the times. In
fact Tai Chi as a combat form has been evolving constantly through times to
suit the contemporary needs; it is a pity that the form of Tai Chi popular
today is the one that is taught in community centres and practiced by the elderly
in parks, giving them a similar prestige to aerobics.
As for
the living conditions, I lived in one of the schools. As I was a visiting
student rather than an official student of the school, the regimentation and
strict training policies did not extend to me so I had more flexibility in
terms of training schedules, although I consider myself to be pretty diligent and
attended almost all classes; my legs hurt for most of my stay though. For the
official students of the school, it essentially felt like a military camp for
them. For them, they do not have much emphasis on academic studies and martial
arts are all they have. I guess that’s what makes them train so hard. The
internet connection was pretty poor relative to Singapore, and I had to use a
VPN to connect to the services I am used to. There were limited wi-fi spots
around the school which made it rather inconvenient. I also downloaded WeChat
while I was there as that was the main thing that connects people. WeChat is
incredibly powerful in China and way more advanced than our Whatsapp. They can
have social profiles on WeChat and pay for stuff through it. A simple scan of a
QR code can do wonders. Having a business monopoly in such a huge domestic market
must be nice. The water supply, however, was one of the most unreliable out of
the necessities. The water supply can be cut off for the entire day, which is especially
annoying when you wanted desperately to flush something down the toilet.
I admit that were it not for the context of my trip, I
would have considered quite a few of my fellow students “hillbillies”. As the saying goes: “在家靠父母，在外靠朋友”. This could not have been more true when I was in
China. Without making friends in a foreign place, life might have been much
harder for me. I met many interesting people both young and old and gained
plenty of insights from them from a social point of view. There were modern farmers, overly-mature kids, and childish elderly among them. Among the friends
I hung out with the most, was an extremely rich kid. His family owns businesses
dealing in aviation parts and energy. As his grandfather started the business empire, I
would joke that the family’s wealth would end at his generation because “福不过三代”. For
my birthday, he brought me and some friends out for outdoor barbeque and then to
a luxurious KTV pub where I drank too much. That feeling of having puke stuck
in your chest and having to force it up your throat and out of your month was
horrible. I have always prided myself on having self-restraint and self-control,
although that has started to weaken in recent times, but I ended up doing something
rather stupid. The next morning, I went for a stroll with that friend and we
both agreed that it wasn’t a wise move. The question then, is how much of it
was due to the influence of alcohol and how much of it due to human weakness.
Disturbingly, I did seem to recall that while the alcohol did affect my body,
my mind was still rather clear.
Now back in Singapore, I was struggling to find the
discipline to continue practicing what I learnt and there is a real danger that
I might end up forgetting everything.
Back home,
F suffered from a mental breakdown at work when I was in China, which I didn’t
know about until I got back. Apparently, the customer service bell made him
snap one day and he just broke down and cried. He then sent an email to all his
superiors to tender his resignation. He was assessed by a doctor who diagnosed
him with depression and OCD. I am no medical expert but I do not agree. I do
not believe in accumulated or sustained emotions, but rather believe that
emotions are fleeting and are isolated to “at the moment” moments. He has since
unofficially retracted his resignation which I do not approve of either. But
then again, it is ultimately his life and he will need to live it himself.
I also
recently received news that an ex-colleague had just gotten attached in the UK.
Congratulations to her for finding a mate first. We had this agreement that we go
out proactively to search for love and update each other on our love lives. Oh well, I
guess you win. Darn it! I’m kidding, I’m really happy for her.
MC has
gone for an interview at Newgate and received some advice and support from AS.
Strangely enough, a headhunter also asked if I wanted to join Newgate as well.
As tempting as a reunion with ex-colleagues seemed, I politely declined the
offer explaining that I need some time to sort out my thoughts and assess my priorities
and direction. As concluded previously, there is a limit to how many people you
can reject as the PR world is rather small.
I had
wanted to meet PL just before I left for China but I double-booked myself and
ended up having dinner with LAB instead. If only, if only… Maybe I wouldn’t
have… sigh.
Over
the long weekend, I went with C and F to JB and did the usual – massage and
seafood. The waiting time at the customs was ridiculous as we stood in line for
close to 3 hours.
At
work, I guess I am lucky that I have not been super busy since I got back. While
this will definitely not last, it is indeed good to have some time to adjust
back to work. We also have a new colleague from London NM who just joined us
this week. I’ve not asked but her race seems to be African
and is incredibly lively, although I wouldn’t be working with her at all.
LT has
also announced that she will be getting married next year after they finally got
a flat. Good news for her!
[Quotes]
“Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon
iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does
which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal.” – Robert South
“What we call our destiny is truly our
character and that character can be altered. The knowledge that we are
responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging,
because it also means that we are free to change this destiny. One is not in
bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance,
background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it
formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect
the elements.” - Anaïs Nin
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