Chronicle 108 - Freedom?

2019 was supposed to be the end of a career and a start to another. Alas, who knew how things would turn out? At the start of the year, I submitted my NIE application to MOE. The reason why I quit my job even before securing a place was because I had made a very considered decision to leave PR behind me and also, that I was rather confident in my chances. So when I wasn't even called up for the interview, I was really annoyed and disappointed.

It got to the point where I started to harass MOE with multiple emails to ask for feedback on my application, and when they ignored me, I asked my MP to write a letter on my behalf. MOE simply replied with a generic statement saying that they do not give feedback on applications. Should have expected this so... looking back, I didn't even know what I was doing. I was just so indignant then. There are two main reasons why I was so upset. The first reason is because I really wanted it and I had decided to give up everything in order to pursue it. Therefore, there was the disappointed of not getting what I really wanted. The second reason is slightly harder to explain. I don't want my confidence to be misconstrued as arrogance but reviewing my experience and both my academic and non-academic achievements, I do not believe that I would lose out to most candidates. Like... HOW IN THE WORLD DID I NOT GET IT? Okay, moving on...

I have since submitted a second round of application to MOE. I will never know why I did not get it or what exactly they are looking for, but I suppose what I can do is to try the various permutations during the application such as the preferred subjects to teach and highlighting different aspects. Have also put the expected salary to the minimum  - it's not so much about the money, but more about how this freaking hurts my pride!

That said, 2019 did have its good points. I had a decent farewell from my ex-colleagues and ex-boss. My boss brought me to this pricey restaurant which had one of the best steaks in Singapore and my colleagues got me a Tumi bag which I believe was worth around S$600. I have made some very good friends while at Tulchan and I still do keep in touch with many of them. My ex-boss called me in April and gave me a piece of good news. She told me that although my contract had officially ended after March, she had managed to convince the Board to approve an additional month's salary as a farewell bonus from Tulchan to me. That was a very nice gesture on her part and I am very grateful. That was very helpful considering the unexpected and uncertain period where I will not have any income. I am actually trying to discipline my self to only eat one meal a day in a bid to save money. That is proving to be rather hard.

I have looked around for other tuition jobs in the meantime but truth be told, I'm not really ready to commit to any before I hear back from NIE. I just the question is how long I will be willing, or can afford, to wait. At this juncture, my family members are already less than supportive.

I had steamboat dinner with VA and NAN recently to celebrate VA's promotion. This was especially meaningful for me since I was VA's line manager and had seen her grow and progress within the firm. having pushed for her promotion for quite some time, I am really happy to see that it had finally came.

I also started investing in 2019. Not the passive investment in funds which doesn't really count, but the more proactive selection and management of a stock portfolio on SGX. So far, it's a mixture of good and not so good calls but only time will tell. I would encourage most people to at least have an account and do so some trades if not simply just for the fun of it.

My first sister went to Korea for her Masters's in August last year and my second sister wen to Korea for her final year exchange programme. The house is generally quite quiet and empty these days. Considering my relationship with my dad, we don't talk much either. There was one night though, when presumable under the influence of alcohol, he tried to subtly talk me out of being a teacher. His premise was that since he taught me Mathematics and Science during my Primary and Secondary school days, his assessment was that I was not good enough! I mean... I don't even want to comment.

SO came to Singapore to visit recently and we had lunch at the China Club to catch up. It was really to nice to see her after such a long while. We had communicated through email periodically but it just wasn't the same. She hasn't changed much over the years and is still as cheerful and positive as always. I also caught up with PL last week. She seems to be doing well at DBS despite the initial adjustment period.

Many of my friends have also since gone overseas for various reasons. DZ went to the UK with his girlfriend as part of an internal transfer seeking a change in environment, LAB is settling down nicely in San Francisco as part of a plan to eventually move to New York, LT has moved to Tokyo with her husband, and it seems J will be moving to the US sometime this year as well. Perhaps, if teaching just isn't an option for me in Singapore, there could be opportunities abroad?

For my buddies in Singapore, F unfortunately has been told to leave his job soon. As for C, he intended to quit his job due to stagnation and boredom. But his company came back and promoted him instead so I guess we won't be the jobless trio anymore. Good for him! Anyway, as of now while I am still jobless, I have been tidying up my investment portfolio, playing some games, watching some TV series, and even started exercising.

[Quotes]

"Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience." - Anthon St. Maarten